Time to say my Goodbyes before my 18th birthday

Hey there! J

First things first, I just wanted to say that I am glad I met such a wonderful person like you and I’m very grateful to have you in my life. Yes we kinda ended on a bad note but hopefully this note/letter is able to clear some of it up or at least help. Desiree (I know you hate it, but I thought it sounded better with your full first name haha), you are an amazing person. You are multi-talented (If you didn’t noticed XD), and outgoing. You are funny, and vibrant. You just know how to brighten up a certain someone’s day just when it’s going completely wrong. You have the cutest smile that I simply adore XD. I love the fact that you are such an inspiration to kids and those people around you. Honestly, without you, the people around you may not even function properly. (That sounds weird but hey bare just take it as a compliment!) You are such a hard worker and very determined, I’m mad that nobody ever gives you credit about it, so here you go. You are well driven, and I know that you will be such a huge success in the future, and I have no doubt in my mind about that. I can’t believe the trouble that we put ourselves in just to talk to each other, and I probably have to say that it was definitely worth it. I’m glad you stuck around even though people told you not to talk to me. I didn’t think I was THAT bad of a person haha. But Wow I didn’t think once meeting you that you would’ve became so special to me. Though we didn’t both get what we wanted in the end, I understand that you just want to keep everyone else happy. Honestly, I applaud you for that, and I bet you those people won’t realize that you made a huge sacrifice just to make them happy. But next time you are in this situation where the risk is your happiness or everyone else’s happiness, please please please make your happiness the first priority. They will have to suck it up and be happy because you’re happy. I want you know that I’m neither mad nor upset about this situation anymore, I just want you happy from now on. You’ve went through so much throughout your lifetime and you deserve to be nothing but happy. One day, you’ll find that one guy, the right guy for you. He’ll be such a lucky guy to have you, and he better treat you right! No matter what kinda stuff you go through or the obstacles you may have to overcome, stay strong like you always are and you will get through it. Always remember to keep your head up when things go and get tough. Always remember to smile and show the world that beautiful face of yours. Always remember to be yourself. Always remember that you have the power to do anything you want to do, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. I won’t forget those times you were so mean to me, and when I was mean to you too. I won’t forget your smile, nor will I forget how I get butterflies every time I see you. I won’t forget how happy you made me feel, talking to you and seeing you were always the highlights of my day. I won’t forget us holding hands, or our hugs. I won’t forget you calling me a “loser” or “jerk” or “babe” or “baby”. I won’t forget when you would always try to fight me, when you know you didn’t stand a chance against me, haha just kidding. I won’t forget the times you tell me you can beat me at something or I suck at something. Haha. I hope you understand how much you really mean to me. You are one special girl, trust me. I hate having to say goodbye, but hopefully we’ll be able to be cool the next time we see each other. You definitely made this past year great, especially on my birthday! I cannot thank you enough for everything, so Thank You!! And lastly, I hope you will always remember me because I will always remember you.

From, Sincerely, and With love, JARON

P.S. IF you ever do forget me, for some reason haha, hopefully you read this note again and it reminds you. This doesn’t have to remind you of me or anything, but I want it to serve only as a reminder of how great of a person you truly are. And how special of a person you are, even though you say you’re not, stop lying to yourself kid. Finally, I hope you go on to reach your goals and do whichever you aspire to do. And I wish you nothing but the best in the future.

P.S.S. I will really miss you! If you ever need someone, I’m only a text/call away!

P.S.S.S. Hope you like it!

"heyy you are probably sleeping right now. But im sorry you had to go through this too. You have dealt with so much hell to just talk to me and in the end all we can be is just friends. Im sorry youve wasted your time on me. You could have someone so much better then me right now. I should of never kept talking to you. But im dumb. Well im going to sleep now. I just wanted to let you know this. Good night."

i replied.

" Actually i didnt go to sleep, ive just been sitting here thinking and finished up that movie my sister and i were watching. this whole situation is just so hard for me to grasp. i really havent done that much nor gone through hell just to talk to a girl. yes i know all we can be is friends, that concept will have to grow on me too haha. i didnt waste my time on you. if all this never happened, i wouldn't have met you :) your not dumb. we talked and nothing can change that. i wanted to be with you, which is why i stuck around for so long, but having you there just to talk to and having somoene i could rely on to make my day brighter was so much better. anyways, goodnight once again. sorry if this 6 some text wakes you up. haha my bad"

so i felt relieved leaving her with this. but it still hurts to know the fact, WE can't be.

I'm sorry that I'm not good at leaving you.
I'm sorry that I can't let you go so easily.
I'm sorry that I made your life difficult.
I'm sorry that I care for you so much.
I'm sorry that I have so much feelings for you.
I'm sorry that I wanted to talk to you.
I'm sorry that I held your hand.
I'm sorry that I disrupted your life.
I'm sorry that for everything that happened between us in the past.
I'm sorry that we happened.
I'm sorry for everything.
I'm sorry.

So once I turn 18 on July 8, it's gonna be all said and done here.
Basically, since you're under 18 we cannot talk like that anymore
It'll just be like before but under different circumstances.
No one forced us into it, and we will really stop talking this time.
This feeling really sucks, I'm not good at this type of things.
Saying "goodbye" and putting feelings to a halt, isn't my thing.
Especially cause of the fact that we were basically together.
I hate this, I hate this.
What hurts me the most is you saying that us not talking anymore won't phase you.
It's like saying you didn't really have genuine feelings for me.
It's like saying you didn't really like me
It's like saying you don't care about me
It's like you never liked me.
Do you know how much this hurts?
Do you know how much it kills me to know that on a day of celebration, I have to suck it up and act like it's not killing me inside that you won't be there for me.
I understand we will be friends, but I don't want you just as my friend.
This is killing me.

If I hadn't expressed my emotion to you before
I would gladly explain and describe the details of you I absolutely adore.
You got that sparkle in your eye, and that swag in your step.
We were digging each other from the first time our eyes met.
Girl, you present yourself well and it makes you more attractive.
I must admit, do what you're doing and you mustn't quit.
Talents from the arts,
you also know how to break guys' body parts.
No need to think nasty, just talking about breakin' necks
Similarities or differences we somehow still connect.
You know how to cheer me up, put a big smile on my face.
But you piss me off, and make me wanna hit you with a briefcase.
I hope I'm able to make you smile too,
for I say somethings to make myself seem like a fool.
So chill and hyper,
I think I may like her.
Turning my cheeks bright red, she makes me nervous.
I can make her laugh, but never on purpose.
She finds humor in my flaws, but that's okay
as long as she's in my life I'll listen to whatever she has to say.