Tuesday:
So, I came back to Norfolk around 5pm on Tuesday (November 22). Janae, Ate, and I went to PCC and took the classes thought by Jasmine Artis! It was fun, but the choreo was kinda hard for me. haha It was just fast and I couldn't grasp it. I was trying though!! Then we home because Ate had school the next day. So we just chill and I wait for Marjorie to come in town. But her flight was delayed to 2am! I fell asleep for about an hour then my dad wakes me up to go to the airport. So yeah, we pick her up and then head back to the house. I put High School Musical 3 in the DVD player and immediately fall asleep, granted this was like 4am. -___-
Wednesday:
Wake up like noon, so tired! Then we get some Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch cause Marjorie wanted some chicken! She calls me asking me to go get her a Cookies N' Cream milkshake from Chik-Fil-A -___- So we go get some for everyone and get to the house at like 4pm cause we had a performance at like 645pm in Downtown Norfolk. It was a while since I last performed!
Thursday:
Thanksgiving!!! I spent the whole day with the people I'm most thankful for, my family. It was the usual thanksgiving day, lunch and dinner at Auntie Mercy's.Then we go home and leave to go to the mall at 11pm so we can go Black Friday shopping! It was my first time!
Friday:
Me and her are fighting, it sucks. She isn't in the mood cause her mom is with her. And I'm just getting hungry and sleepy and cranky. We end up leaving the mall at like 5am and going home. We end up fighting really bad. So Janae, Ate, and I end up going to her football game at 730pm at the Sportsplex. Regional Championship against Oscar Smith. I promised her in the summer I would go to one of her football games. I was so happy to see her and go to one of her games. Although, Salem lost by one point. She was upset they lost. Janae and Ate formulated a plan where it was me and Desi in one car and them two in another. Probably best plan they ever came up with. We really didn't know how to get back home, but we eventually found it out haha We finally talked everything out. She cried and I was about to cry. I didn't like seeing her cry. But we fix everything and everything goes good. I can get used to holding her hand while I drive. I loved looking over to the passenger seat and seeing her. It was just a good time with her. She seemed so happy!
Saturday:
Spent the day with Angeles, Matt and Mommy and Ate ate Navy Exchange. It was fun, then parents went to Ocean Downs for the night. And YFAMD came over to celebrate Christian's 20th Birthday a day early. It was really fun having everyone over again and so relaxing. AJ and Matt slept over. Desi said I am such a dad cause of the way I took care of AJ. But when they all had to leave, I got really sad. I didn't want the weekend to end. I knew I was gonna miss her.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Day 2: Nine Things About Yourself
1. I am very hard headed: I probably am as difficult as it gets. I am also stubborn, bring stubborn and hard headed are probably two of the worse character traits to have haha
2. I am shy: Though, I am only shy around people I just meet or haven't known for a while. It may take a while for me to warm up to you, or it may just take seconds. It really depends who introduces me to you and how the first impression goes. Usually, if I feel you are judgmental or intimidating then I will be really shy and it may take a while for me to open up. But if I am not concerned by you, then I will be really crazy around you.
3. I care about everyone: Sometimes, I care about certain people too much. They probably don't need my concern and then once I realize it then begin to think I'm brand new.
4. I am really lazy: Yeah haha. I can get really lazy especially around the house doing chores. I know it's bad. Also, with school I always don't have any passion to do it. I just get tired of going to school and I really must have an inspiration and passion into something in putting my all into it.
5. I love sports! I love the NBA, and am a passionate fan. I like just being active in general and I'm down to play any kind of sports. I played Varsity Tennis and Varsity Volleyball in High School. I also wrestled in middle school. I do wish I put more effort and dedication into it in middle school, so I could've pursued it in high school. Who knows, maybe I could've been good! I love sports more than school, enough said. Haha
6. I am family oriented! Family is my first priority over anything. Nothing will ever be more important than them. I have grown up around them and that's all I really ever knew. I love them, and I will do anything to protect these wonderful people in my lives.
7. I really enjoy kids: I love playing with them. They are so energetic and outgoing. I like them cause they are so easily amused! They can make me smile and change my day around. One day, I aspire to become an amazing father to my own children. They will be my world, next to my wife, and I will make sure they live a better life than I did because that's what my dad is doing for me and my sister right now.
8. I am really simple. Well I like to think so! haha I mean it doesn't take a lot to make me smile and make me happy. I don't ask for much and I am really flexible with things. I know I make a lot of things complicated, sometimes it's because it's funny, but that is how I am. I think making things complicated adds another dimension into my world of thinking and perspectives.
9. I surround myself around people that I wish to be like or have a good vibe. Most of my friends are true characters. Each one has their own voice and makes them very unique from each other. The other part of my friends are people who I look up too. They are either dedicated to their craft, or hard working, etc. I try to learn from them so I can work on that trait so I can add it to my repertoire of traits.
2. I am shy: Though, I am only shy around people I just meet or haven't known for a while. It may take a while for me to warm up to you, or it may just take seconds. It really depends who introduces me to you and how the first impression goes. Usually, if I feel you are judgmental or intimidating then I will be really shy and it may take a while for me to open up. But if I am not concerned by you, then I will be really crazy around you.
3. I care about everyone: Sometimes, I care about certain people too much. They probably don't need my concern and then once I realize it then begin to think I'm brand new.
4. I am really lazy: Yeah haha. I can get really lazy especially around the house doing chores. I know it's bad. Also, with school I always don't have any passion to do it. I just get tired of going to school and I really must have an inspiration and passion into something in putting my all into it.
5. I love sports! I love the NBA, and am a passionate fan. I like just being active in general and I'm down to play any kind of sports. I played Varsity Tennis and Varsity Volleyball in High School. I also wrestled in middle school. I do wish I put more effort and dedication into it in middle school, so I could've pursued it in high school. Who knows, maybe I could've been good! I love sports more than school, enough said. Haha
6. I am family oriented! Family is my first priority over anything. Nothing will ever be more important than them. I have grown up around them and that's all I really ever knew. I love them, and I will do anything to protect these wonderful people in my lives.
7. I really enjoy kids: I love playing with them. They are so energetic and outgoing. I like them cause they are so easily amused! They can make me smile and change my day around. One day, I aspire to become an amazing father to my own children. They will be my world, next to my wife, and I will make sure they live a better life than I did because that's what my dad is doing for me and my sister right now.
8. I am really simple. Well I like to think so! haha I mean it doesn't take a lot to make me smile and make me happy. I don't ask for much and I am really flexible with things. I know I make a lot of things complicated, sometimes it's because it's funny, but that is how I am. I think making things complicated adds another dimension into my world of thinking and perspectives.
9. I surround myself around people that I wish to be like or have a good vibe. Most of my friends are true characters. Each one has their own voice and makes them very unique from each other. The other part of my friends are people who I look up too. They are either dedicated to their craft, or hard working, etc. I try to learn from them so I can work on that trait so I can add it to my repertoire of traits.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Day 1: Ten Things You Want to Say to Ten Different People Right Now
1. You are so characteristically strong. Putting up with Ate's and my crap everyday. Also, dealing with me and your husband gone. I know it isn't easy. I know I haven't been that great of a son to you and I'm sorry. I'm trying.
2. I know leaving this family for several months each year is hard on you and it's hard on us too. Thank you for putting your life on the line just so we can have a better life than you did. You stand for courage and strength for me. I miss you being around everyday. I intend, someday, to be as determined and strong minded as you are.
3. You are my best friend. You may not think so, but we are! I have given so much of my time and effort in you and I do not regret it one bit. You should know everything already, so all I'm gonna say is I love you.
4. You guys need to chill out. She is already under so much stress and pain because of you. Maybe if you learned how to be better parents and quit begin so naive about how your own daughter feels and is being treated maybe she could be a much happier person. She doesn't like either of you.
5. I don't know what it is about you but you get on my nerves a lot of times. Sometimes the way you carry yourself and the things you say and do annoy me.
6. All I want to say is thank you. You are one of those people I feel that I can lean on when times get rough. I love you!!
7. I know after all the times I joke you and call you weird, it's only out of love! The talk we had on the way back up to VCU was meaningful. I know that I can trust you and can talk to you about anything. I'm always gonna be here for you. You're family and family comes first.
8. You are one of the youngest in this huge family. You have so much to learn! Remember we are family and we will be judgmental and hard on you. It's how it is. We all go through it. I promise to take care of you as my own child. I'll teach you everything I know, and hope you turn into an amazing man when you grow up.
9. Honestly, you are an inspiration to me. You are so dedicated and hard working to your work that I envy that. I want to be like that. You are a role model for me, but you don't know that.
10. We aren't as close as we used to be but I know I still can count on you to be there. You are a good friend and I got your back and I know you got mine.
2. I know leaving this family for several months each year is hard on you and it's hard on us too. Thank you for putting your life on the line just so we can have a better life than you did. You stand for courage and strength for me. I miss you being around everyday. I intend, someday, to be as determined and strong minded as you are.
3. You are my best friend. You may not think so, but we are! I have given so much of my time and effort in you and I do not regret it one bit. You should know everything already, so all I'm gonna say is I love you.
4. You guys need to chill out. She is already under so much stress and pain because of you. Maybe if you learned how to be better parents and quit begin so naive about how your own daughter feels and is being treated maybe she could be a much happier person. She doesn't like either of you.
5. I don't know what it is about you but you get on my nerves a lot of times. Sometimes the way you carry yourself and the things you say and do annoy me.
6. All I want to say is thank you. You are one of those people I feel that I can lean on when times get rough. I love you!!
7. I know after all the times I joke you and call you weird, it's only out of love! The talk we had on the way back up to VCU was meaningful. I know that I can trust you and can talk to you about anything. I'm always gonna be here for you. You're family and family comes first.
8. You are one of the youngest in this huge family. You have so much to learn! Remember we are family and we will be judgmental and hard on you. It's how it is. We all go through it. I promise to take care of you as my own child. I'll teach you everything I know, and hope you turn into an amazing man when you grow up.
9. Honestly, you are an inspiration to me. You are so dedicated and hard working to your work that I envy that. I want to be like that. You are a role model for me, but you don't know that.
10. We aren't as close as we used to be but I know I still can count on you to be there. You are a good friend and I got your back and I know you got mine.
Monday, November 7, 2011
reality check. forrealz
I make mistakes, yeah. I say things that shouldn't have been said, and I mess up a lot. I will probably keep messing up, but one thing I know is that I love you. I wanna be with you, forever. I told you that and I mean it. If you are willing to accept me for me than I'm glad. Because I know i say stupid shit, I know I fuck up, I know I don't think before I speak, I know you say mean things, I know i'm a jerk, i know i'm a dumb ass, i know i have insecurities and let them get to my head, i know its really hard to trust someone, i know i need reassurance from you every once in a while.
I'm sorry that I make mistakes. I talk without knowing how much it will effect you. I just say whatever. I fuck up, a lot. But if you can see that I can make up for it then that's great. I told you I'm a pain in the ass. I told you that I'm a screw up. I told you that it's gonna be really hard dealing with me. But I chose you because I felt you were a strong enough person to handle it. With you, I felt nothing like how I ever felt with anyone else. You, made me go crazy. I don't know what else to say, I fell for you, hard.
Monday November 7th 2011
A day before our 16th months.
I'm sorry.
Yesterday I told you that I didn't trust you.
But today, you told me you would take me back.
I'm grateful for this day.
So what happened was that we've been fighting so much lately and I really don't know why. You're stressed out and I know i'm getting on your nerves everyday. I always the wrong things and get mad or upset for no reason. I pretty much just make everything worse. So when you went to LA, we barely talked. It sucked. I was so sad, I was home, no one to talk too. All I could do was just wait for your text, but I pretty much never got one. I was hurt. I felt like I was forgotten, even replaced. I hated my fall break. I still can't sleep. Then we fought for about another week. Still, barely talking. Then you told me, that some kid was flirting with you. Why didn't you tell me this once you got home? Like I wanted to know. You waited for a week! But then you said, you were avoiding him and didn't like how he was flirting with you. Okay, I understand. I don't mind that. Just next time please tell me once someone tries to flirt with you Then things got worse. You told me you thought about having feelings for one of them Future Shock guys for a day. WTF!?!? you thought about having feelings?! that's pretty much saying you did. My heart broke after you said that. It still is partially broken. This is why I don't trust you. I don't know when you are going to eventually give up and take the easy way out and go for one of them. No I don't think you're a cheater or a hoe. I don't know why you think that, I really don't think you are. I just am hurt you thought about having feelings for someone else besides me. Then you said you realized that you only liked me and me only. Which is good. I feel that whole situation was left unsaid. Now, this upcoming weekend some of the guys are sleeping over at your house. I don't feel comfortable with it, but that doesn't mean I don't trust you. Geeez. I just don't like it, but like I said I will get over it. I know nothing will happen. I know you aren't like that. Right now I'm still hurt.
But you choose to give me another try. I'm glad about that. But we have so much to work on. Everything needs to be said between us. We both need to come to an understanding about each other. We're two completely different people going through difficult times in our lives and we both need to understand each other. We need to work on communicating so much better. I can trust you again, I'm serious. If everything doesn't get better anytime soon, I don't know how much longer we, or us, can last. Somethings need to change. It sucks that we're both apart from each other. I don't see you but for only like once or twice a month. I can't call you on the phone, and if you do its only for a minute or less. I can't hang out with just you. Long distance relationship sucks. But I got into it because of you. I love you. I feel like you're worth it at. I put everything down on the line just for you. You are the only thing I ever worked hard for. I stay persistent all the time, I don't do that for anything else. I give up at everything if I don't naturally do good at it. With you, I can constantly working to better myself so that we can work. I try to do everything I can do so you can be happy. You changed my life.
But is this true love? Will it work out in the end and get better?
Or will it falter? Was this just our first love? Will we just end up as friends like how we did the first time?
I guess only time will tell.
I'm sorry.
Yesterday I told you that I didn't trust you.
But today, you told me you would take me back.
I'm grateful for this day.
So what happened was that we've been fighting so much lately and I really don't know why. You're stressed out and I know i'm getting on your nerves everyday. I always the wrong things and get mad or upset for no reason. I pretty much just make everything worse. So when you went to LA, we barely talked. It sucked. I was so sad, I was home, no one to talk too. All I could do was just wait for your text, but I pretty much never got one. I was hurt. I felt like I was forgotten, even replaced. I hated my fall break. I still can't sleep. Then we fought for about another week. Still, barely talking. Then you told me, that some kid was flirting with you. Why didn't you tell me this once you got home? Like I wanted to know. You waited for a week! But then you said, you were avoiding him and didn't like how he was flirting with you. Okay, I understand. I don't mind that. Just next time please tell me once someone tries to flirt with you Then things got worse. You told me you thought about having feelings for one of them Future Shock guys for a day. WTF!?!? you thought about having feelings?! that's pretty much saying you did. My heart broke after you said that. It still is partially broken. This is why I don't trust you. I don't know when you are going to eventually give up and take the easy way out and go for one of them. No I don't think you're a cheater or a hoe. I don't know why you think that, I really don't think you are. I just am hurt you thought about having feelings for someone else besides me. Then you said you realized that you only liked me and me only. Which is good. I feel that whole situation was left unsaid. Now, this upcoming weekend some of the guys are sleeping over at your house. I don't feel comfortable with it, but that doesn't mean I don't trust you. Geeez. I just don't like it, but like I said I will get over it. I know nothing will happen. I know you aren't like that. Right now I'm still hurt.
But you choose to give me another try. I'm glad about that. But we have so much to work on. Everything needs to be said between us. We both need to come to an understanding about each other. We're two completely different people going through difficult times in our lives and we both need to understand each other. We need to work on communicating so much better. I can trust you again, I'm serious. If everything doesn't get better anytime soon, I don't know how much longer we, or us, can last. Somethings need to change. It sucks that we're both apart from each other. I don't see you but for only like once or twice a month. I can't call you on the phone, and if you do its only for a minute or less. I can't hang out with just you. Long distance relationship sucks. But I got into it because of you. I love you. I feel like you're worth it at. I put everything down on the line just for you. You are the only thing I ever worked hard for. I stay persistent all the time, I don't do that for anything else. I give up at everything if I don't naturally do good at it. With you, I can constantly working to better myself so that we can work. I try to do everything I can do so you can be happy. You changed my life.
But is this true love? Will it work out in the end and get better?
Or will it falter? Was this just our first love? Will we just end up as friends like how we did the first time?
I guess only time will tell.
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